Through the years of marriage counseling, I have heard all kinds of stories and scenarios. Some are heartbreaking and some are hilarious. In marriage, you are either going to laugh or cry, and the choice in many cases is yours.
No marriage is without responsibility. In other words, if your mate decides to divorce you…there really is no “innocent party.” What I mean by that is simply each person of the marriage has contributed in some measure to the downfall of it. No one is perfect and we all act ugly at times to each other.
The key is whether you are a Christian and actually act under the principles of Christ in the Bible. The whole Bible is a textbook on “who God is and how to live a righteous and Godly life.” This life is dependent on God in its birth and foundations, but much of the responsibility is yours to obey and submit to the principles taught.
If one party of a marriage adopts the truths of the Bible they very well may save an otherwise “bad or failing marriage.”
How? Well, start off with true “forgiveness from the heart, because Jesus Christ has forgiven you.” That will fix a whole lot of things.
How? Well, obey the behavior instructions of kindness, longsuffering, gentleness, meekness, and such which will heal and prevent another slew of problems.
How? Well, obey the commands to avoid “bitterness and hate.” With many married couples that come in, one or both of the people literally “hate” each other by the time they see me. The plane is descending at an 80-degree angle downward, with both engines on fire…and they ask me what God can do for them!!!!!
How about stopping the crisis before the point of no return????
How? Well, be a good Christian. No matter what your mate is or does, you just be a good Christian. In many, many cases, this would save the marriage and in time convert the other mate! I have seen it with my own eyes.
Quit thinking about how your mate needs to change, and change yourself! You have no control over your mate. You have control over you and you alone. The never-ending negative talk about each other goes nowhere but down.
If you are a real Christian…shower your mate with what you see as “good or positive.” Start small and work on it.
Example…he may be horrible at romance, but he can fix anything around the house. In other words…he is a good maintenance man! That is worth something!
Example…she may have lost her beauty, but she sure can cook! That is worth a lot!
Ask Jesus to forgive you for straying from His principles of life and get back to them. Be a good Christian. Your kids and grandkids will thank you for staying married.
Pastor Bill Lytell